Jims65cyclone wrote:The the kid did tell the cop they came in a red 64 Comet.
Jim
I knew it,that Cory has told off on me more times,,I would tell him,now when we get home,keep it to yourself,he'd say OK POP !!HIS butt wouldn't hardly get out of the truck,til he was hollaring for his mammaw,,I threaten to pinch his little head off a hundred times...now I have a second chance for that stuff all over again,,,cause CORY has my 1st grt grd son.....and thats so cool !!
A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment, then says, "You'll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."
*Husband:* My wife is missing. She kissed me goodbye, said she’d be back
soon and then went shopping. That was yesterday and she has not come home...
*Sergeant at Police Station: * What is her height?
*Husband: * Gee, I'm not sure. Maybe a little over five-feet tall.
*Sergeant: * Weight?
*Husband: * Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
*Sergeant: * Color of eyes?
*Husband: * Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
*Sergeant: * Color of hair?
*Husband: * Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t
remember.
*Sergeant: * What was she wearing?
*Husband: * Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know
exactly.
*Sergeant:* What kind of car did she go in?
*Husband: * She went in my truck.
*Sergeant: * What kind of truck was it?
*Husband: * A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special
ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air
conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which
has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and
"Bubba" floor mats. Trail-ring package with gold hitch and special
wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver,
23-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power
outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has
custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.
*At this point the husband started choking up.* . .
*Sergeant:* Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.
Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy’s Pub in London. After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”
The other bloke responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”
The first one says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”
The other bloke answers, “I’m from Dublin , I am.”
The first one responds, “So am I!”
“Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?”
The other bloke says, “A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”
The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?”
The other bloke answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.” The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”
The other bloke answers, “Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.”
The first one exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!”
About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.
Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”
Vicky asks, “Why do you say that, Brian?”
“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”
My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen...and something else
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. ‘Honey, ‘she said, ‘You received a very strange post card today.’ ‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said.
The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there's a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He's been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman, are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies . . . "You just happened to catch my eye."
